4th step, family and feelings

(Another AA post, I know, I know.. I should really start a blog) *** (and so I did)

Today I'm working on my 4th step: "Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." .. oh is that all? To be fearless about such an experience is a daunting task, both physically and emotionally. It's forcing me to really confront my baggage. This naturally led me to calling my family.

Today I finally faced my last hard admission of my alcoholism to family, to my Aunt. A nearly hour and a half long conversation that has brought me to tears. Tears of relief, such relief I never knew was possible. It didn't hit me how much I really needed her support until now, and that's saying a lot for me because as many of you know I'm not close with family. To hear the words 'I am proud of you' and 'I love you' have never hit me more deeply than today.

AA Promise: If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

I think I'm finally starting to get this..